Remus Lupin, Admin Assistant
by tangledribbons
Summary: It's not saving the world, but it pays the bills and he gets to keep plants on his desk. Remus Lupin could get used to life in the muggle world.
1. Chapter 1

And I'm back! Probably quite briefly, and it's not an update of an existing story which I know is v. annoying of me, but... I have no excuse. I'm an annoying person. But hopefully you enjoy the little foray into Remus Lupin's life anyway!

ONE

Remus Lupin blinked confusedly at the women in front of him.

"Computer skills?" He asked.

"Yes, Mr Lupin. Typing, basic understanding of spreadsheets. The programs we use are fairly simple, but we do ask for a little computer literacy in all of our employees, I'm afraid."

She said it kindly but Remus felt his heart sink anyway. _Computer skills. _He could lie, of course, and say that he had them. These computer skills that all muggles seemed to have. But she'd find out eventually, if she didn't already know, and Remus had never been the best of liars anyway. He sighed. _Computer skills._

"Ah, I see. Well, I don't actually have any understanding of any of that, I'm afraid. My upbringing was rather… sheltered." Remus cleared his throat a little and looked down at his knees. He couldn't get a job in the magical world and now, it seemed, he couldn't get one in the muggle one either. He was, to put it lightly, absolutely screwed.

"I am sorry about that Mr Lupin, as you do seem like you would be a good fit with the rest of the office here. But I'm afraid that we just don't have enough time to train you up at the moment. We're looking for someone who can just jump right in."

"Ah. Well, I, uh, I'm sorry for wasting your time then. I'll just show myself out," he stood to leave, the unfamiliar muggle office chair's metal legs scraping across the laminate flooring as he did so.

"I'll tell you what. I shouldn't be telling you this but we have a few people planning to retire in half a year or so. Learn the basics before then and re-apply. I know the local library does classes for free, and I'll be happy to give you another interview if you do decide to try again." She smiled at him briefly before shuffling the papers on her desk. Remus took this as his cue to leave. He thanked her and walked out of the building deep in thought, hands tucked into the pockets of the slightly shabby overcoat that Peter had bought him so many years before. _Computer skills. _

"I'm sorry, Mr Lupin, what did you say these devices were called again?" Minerva McGonagall creased her forehead in concentration, peering at her former student over her mug of tea.

Remus smiled into his own mug. If there was one thing he had truly enjoyed in the five years since… in the five years since everything had… happened, it was his monthly visits with his old head of house. For him, there had been truth in the words that she told every new bunch of first years: Gryffindor house had truly been where he had found his family.

"Computers. You can write on them, like typewriters but… better. You can use them to do calculations and things, to sort data. You can even use them to contact people and to research almost anything using this thing called the internet." Okay, so he was gushing a little, but it was just such a wonderful opportunity to _learn. _

"And you've learnt to do all of this? To use this internet and such?"

"Well, I'm still learning, but I think I know enough to get by. I still need some practise but I'm definitely getting there. And I have another couple of interviews next week, so fingers crossed." He had decided already that he wouldn't mention his first class in which he spent half an hour staring at a blank screen before the librarian supervising them had kindly told him that the 'on' button was on the side of the machine. Even the old lady sitting next to him had laughed at that one.

Remus and Minerva shared a smile. He was glad he could bring good news for once. He'd spent so many hours in this office, a complete mess, crying and shaking and wondering out loud whether life could possibly go on for a werewolf with no friends left and no job prospects to speak of.

"Anyway, how are this year's first years? And how's little Harry doing? Is he still standing up to that prick of a cousin of his?"

"Hmmph," Minerva snorted, setting her mug down on a coaster a little too forcefully. "Yes, he's doing a very good job of it, for a six year old. Why Albus won't let anyone step in… at least make that Aunt and Uncle of his do something… but oh, there's no use arguing with the old codger."

"Of course not," Remus sighed. He took a large slurp of his tea and tried his best to push the thoughts out of his mind. He couldn't, like always, but he tried anyway. "And the first years?"

"Oh, the usual bunch. The Hufflepuffs seem like a nice bunch, one of the girls in Ravenclaw is fluent in six languages, plays three instruments and has achieved a myriad of muggle qualifications. She was about to start her degree, which I believe they only start at 18 or 19 usually, when she got her letter for Hogwarts. No new Weasleys in Gryffindor this year, though no doubt we'll get young Percy next year. And in Slytherin we have a boy who wears a necklace of teeth that rumour has it come from the muggles that his father killed in the war. Severus isn't sure of the truth of it, claims it could be an attempt to increase his standing in the house, but the boy is a Nott, so you never know."

"Huh. Usual bunch, eh?"

"So, here's your desk then, and if there's any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

Remus grinned at his new boss and she smiled indulgently back. He couldn't help it. Everything was actually going right for him. He had a new job. He had a new suit. Hell, he even had a bank account in the muggle world, a bank account that his first pay cheque would be deposited in a month from now. Although that had been bloody tricky to set up – nosy buggers, were muggles. And now he had his own desk, on a block with a smiling middle-aged lady wearing slippers under her desk and a bored looking man with long, dark dreadlocks tied loosely at the nape of his neck.

"Thank you, I will."

He sat down and swirled experimentally in his chair. He grinned at the office in general. He decided that he'd try and change the computer's screensaver to something nicer than that odd symbol like a flag.

"I'm Paula," the middle-aged lady introduced herself, reaching a hand across the little row of pot plants that separated her desk from Remus'.

"Remus," he grinned, shaking her hand and trying not to wince when her silver wedding band came into contact with his skin.

"Oh, like the wolf-boy, right?" she asked, smiling and his eyes widened before he got full control of himself.

"Romulus and Remus, yes," he managed in a slightly weaker voice than he'd introduced himself in.

"Graham," the man with dreadlocks sighed, holding up a hand in half-hearted welcome, "No cool, wolf-boy names around here I'm afraid."

He looked genuinely quite sad about it as well, Remus thought, having gotten over most of the shock.

"Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, really. Especially being called Remus Lupin, I might as well be called Wolf McWolf," he laughed a little. He'd always quite liked the irony of his name and his furry little problem.

"Better than Graham Smith, mate, let me tell you. Graham Smith, Admin Assistant." He sighed again, making the leaves on Paula's plants shiver as his breath passed over them.

"Graham here is exceedingly morose," Paula explained, turning back to her filing. Remus nodded. He wondered where the things to be filed were kept and if he was supposed to be doing something like that.

"I am not 'exceedingly morose'," Graham grumbled, " I am simply disinterested in pretending to like the boring, pointless life I've built around myself."

"Ah." Remus said intelligently, "Well, trust me, having an interesting name is not all it's cracked up to be. I know a man called Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Try fitting that on forms."

He hoped that made sense. He'd had to fill out an awful lot of forms to get his bank account so surely that was something that most muggles usually did...

"Ha, true that, mate. Paperwork to file is in the blue tray, to scan is in the red one and to input into the database is in the ugly brown one down the end," Graham jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to the shelves behind him and Remus grinned. He'd had a successful muggle conversation with his new co-workers and he'd figured out what he was meant to be doing in this job. This day just got better and better. Maybe he should buy a pot plant for his desk…


	2. Chapter 2

Two chapters in two days, I have no idea what's going on either, guys. It could be that I'm procrastinating, big time, but I'm happy to ignore that fact for now. Enjoy the chapter!

Remus Lupin blinked confusedly at the woman in front of him.

"Secret Santa?" He asked.

"Yes, you know, pick a name out of a bag and you buy them a present without them knowing who you are. We do it every year, saves spending the money to get everyone gifts. Oh, and you can't spend more than a tenner," Angela explained, perching on Paula's empty desk.

"Oh, I see. Well, yes, of course, I'll take part," Remus agreed quickly. He had no idea how to go about buying a muggle a present, seeing as he doubted they would take well to him asking them what their latest dreams were to analyse them, or whipping a crystal ball out, but Angela had been a very understanding boss so far, accepting that he had a chronic disease that meant he had to be absent three to four days of every month for treatments. She even paid him for the missed days, although she said that most companies offered sick pay and that this wasn't really a big deal. He was still grateful though.

"Here you go then," She waved an empty staples box at him and he gingerly squeezed his hand in and pulled out a name. He went to open it but Angela put her hand out to stop him.

"No, no, you have to wait until I'm gone in case I see who you get. That ruins the fun. And good work on the Michaels' files, by the way, you too Paula," she added as the woman in question came ambling back to her desk. They both smiled at their boss and thanked her. It hadn't been a tricky job, but it had been an incredibly tedious one. Remus was almost glad that he'd missed the last day of it due to his monthly visitor. "Oh, and nice cactus, Remus."

He grinned at her as she walked away, adjusting his little potted cactus fondly.

"Who'd you get, then?" Paula asked, watering her own plants with the little watering can she kept in her bottom drawer.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to tell?" Remus laughed, opening the little slip of paper.

_Angela. _

Typical, he thought. Of course he'd get the boss in this strange game of guessing presents. Perhaps he could steal her mug and check out her tea leaves… except muggles used tea bags.

"Darn it," He muttered, propping the paper against his computer screen. "What can I buy Angela?"

"So you have to buy your boss a present?" Minerva asked her favourite ex-student over their traditional cup of tea in her quarters at Hogwarts.

"Yes! And I have no idea what to get her."

"Well, have you consulted your crystal ball?" Minerva reached for another biscuit as she asked. She might not believe in Divination when it came to serious matters, but even she could not deny it's uses when it came to Christmas and birthdays.

"They're all muggles, remember? And it turns out they don't have any equivalent either. They just guess and hope the person is going to like it. It's ridiculous." He huffed a little, slouching lower into his chair.

"Positively barbaric."

Remus smiled, knowing when he was being made fun of. He supposed he was being a little bit ridiculous, sulking about something so little when he had so much good in his life now. He had a job, new clothes, even if they were decidedly muggle in nature, and he hadn't had to hear a hateful slur about his werewolf status for months.

"I know, I know, I'm being silly. I just want her to like it. She's done a lot for me, giving me this job even though I had no experience and not minding about all the sick days. I want to get her something that will say thank you."

"Well, I'm sure you'll find something. You can be very thoughtful when you try," She smiled at him, taking another shortbread biscuit from the plate.

"Thank you," Remus sighed, resigned to participating in this guessing game. "Anyway, how are things here?"

"Oh, you know. That Nott boy, the one with the teeth jewellery, was caught trying to snare cats in the Forbidden Forest to do god knows what with. Apparently the Defence teacher told the seventh years that their exams don't matter and that they should all just leave school and go to the wild jungles of anywhere but here and battle dark creatures if they wanted to get a real education. It took some quick talking to stop a few of them from taking her up on that idea. Oh, Binns gave a girl a detention the other day."

"_Binns? _I didn't think he even realised that he had students?"

"Oh, she stood up and gave him a very well thought out and logical speech on why the goblins were rarely at fault and that all conflicts between the two races had in fact been instigated by prejudice on the part of the witches and wizards."

"Well, that'd do it, I suppose."

"Thank you!" Remus reached over and pulled Paula into a half-hug. He had never hugged her before, hadn't really hugged anybody since… well, since most of his friends had died in one night. But in the glow of the Christmas lights on the little tree they had in the corner of the office, with tinsel all around and the threat of snow outside, he admitted to himself that he had grown truly fond of his deskmates. Paula with her love of plants, something that Remus shared, and Graham with his melancholy that hid his genuine contentment with his life.

"It's wonderful!"

"Only you, Remy, would think that a watering can with a painting of a wolf on it was wonderful," Graham smiled indulgently, having shaken off his apathy in the name of festive spirit.

"I'm so glad you like it," Paula smiled. She made eye contact with Graham for a second and he coughed into his fist and stood up.

"I'm going to… go and give Briony her present," he explained before shuffling away.

"That was… odd," Remus said as he watched the other man walk away. Paula shifted her chair so that she was facing Remus and he shifted his gaze to her. "Okay, what's going on?"

"I may have bought you another present. I don't you to think I'm being presumptuous though… oh, I hope you don't think it's rude." She worried at her lip and he smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

"Maybe you should just give me the present and then we'll see?" He suggested. Paula reached below her desk and pulled out a sparkly gift bag. When he'd first seen gift bags, Remus couldn't help but think how much James would have loved them. Although perhaps they all would have missed getting presents that were more sellotape than paper from the notoriously bad wrapper.

Inside the bag was a tube with some sort of orange liquid inside and a round tub which, when he opened it, proved to be some kind of cream that smelt of oranges. He looked up, quizzically, wondering why Paula would have thought that he would find this offensive.

"They're for your scars," She explained in a very quiet voice. "I noticed that you don't go out much and I thought that maybe… That maybe it was because you were insecure about how you look."

Remus gaped at her. He didn't know what to say, so perhaps it was lucky that she rushed on to explain herself.

"My daughter had the same thing, you see. She was in the army, like you. There was an explosion, a bomb went off and she ended up with a face full of shrapnel. When she came back here she couldn't bear the scars and these were the creams that eventually helped to get them to fade the most."

"Where did you get the idea that I was in the army?" Remus eventually managed to ask. It was the only question that he could focus on properly. He didn't think of his scars often. He had lived with most of them for so long that he was somewhat resigned to them. Magic couldn't do anything for them, not that most in St. Mungo's would have tried all that hard for someone like him. And to have someone bring them up like this was… disconcerting.

"Oh, it's in your eyes, dear. Sometimes you'll be doing your work and then suddenly you'll just stop, and stare into nothing, and the look on your face is just… haunted. My Debra does exactly the same thing. You… were, weren't you?" She fretted suddenly, looking awfully unsure of herself. Remus thought back to the war, to the battles, to spells flying everywhere and his desperate need to keep his friends safe.

"Not quite the army, but something very similar," He admitted.

"I didn't want to pry, but I didn't want such a nice young man like you not to be living his life to the full because of a few marks on his face. So I thought if I could help, I should offer it. Understand that I'm not trying to say that your scars are in anyway bad, I just…"

"I understand, don't worry. It was very, very thoughtful of you. I've had them a while now, so I'm not sure that these will work but I'll give them a go. Thank you."

Paula's face split into a huge grin and he chuckled.

"Oh, thank goodness! You should be getting out, to the bars or the clubs, or, hell, yoga classes if that's more your scene, meeting someone nice. Or several someone's nice, if that's what you're into," She grinned and winked at him and he laughed again, putting the gift bag under his desk by his satchel.

"Maybe just the one nice someone to start off with. I wouldn't want to get greedy, after all."

"Oh!"

"Oh?"

"Oh no, oh in a good way. I was just surprised, is all. Usually whoever gets me buys me a bottle of wine or a book voucher or something. I don't usually get… cacti."

Remus was worried now. Very worried. Was a cactus not a good gift to buy somebody, then? He was very fond of his own one…

"I grew it myself. From a cutting from the one on my desk. I couldn't think of what to give you, to thank you for giving me a chance with this job, and I just thought that… well, my cactus was my way of making here feel a little bit more like home and I noticed that you didn't really have anything like that in your office, or any pictures or anything and I just thought that maybe… I don't know, I thought you might like it." He was a bit pink in the cheeks by the time he'd finished his explanation, but Angela seemed to be smiling from what little he could see of her face whilst staring at his own feet.

"In which case, this is a very sweet present, so thank you very much. But you really don't have to thank me so much for giving you a job. You're a very good worker, you're very intelligent. It's a wonder you haven't moved on to bigger and better things by now, to be honest."

Remus blushed even more. He wasn't sure anybody had called him intelligent since his Hogwarts days. In the magical world it'd been more of 'half-breed scum' and in the muggle world he hadn't really spoken to many people outside of his computer classes and his job.

"I haven't had all that many job opportunities, due to my illness."

"Well, that's their loss then. Merry Christmas, Remus."

"Merry Christmas, Angela."

AN: If you hadn't noticed, I have this head-canon about purebloods using Divination to figure out what to buy each other for presents. I find it amusing and I'm sticking with it, no matter how little it makes sense.


End file.
